I have a pet peeve in TV. Something that really irks me when I see it. Sometimes it happens in movies but more often than not it’s a misdemeanor perpetrated by television series of the police, lawyer, and soap variety. 

It’s the imaginary sip of imaginary coffee. The mug is real, but that is where the truth ends. And if the truth ends with as little a thing as drinking coffee, my belief is well and truly unsuspended. How can I believe anything they do or say? How can I immerse myself in their world of magic and drama, when in that world, coffee is apparently consumed just by putting lips to mug? No swallowing necessary! One can simply carry on talking immediately after taking ‘a sip’, while gesticulating their mug around everywhere in a way in which if I was to do it in my very important lawyer firm’s office, would short circuit all the computers with hot Kenyan peaberry and ruin my barrister’s wig.^

It seems good and healthy to me to let it out, as a problem ranted is a problem if not halved, at least made more enjoyable. And to continue in this spirit, I think a segment on reviewing coffee on television will be just the ticket. Starting with Coffee in Cars with Comedians. I’ve got it on now as I write, which is testing my multitasking skills.* It’s not so much about coffee. But coffee is involved. Which is like life. Life is and isn’t about coffee. But coffee is involved.

Right now I’m watching the episode with Sarah Silverman. She’s impersonating her family. She’s being funny. Coffee shot. Cut to an action shot of milk being poured into an already full and overly frothy cappuccino. A second action shot of percolator coffee being poured near a mug. 

Back to Sarah impersonating Jimmy (Kimmel? Fallon? Doesn’t matter)’s daughter. She’s being funny. Their food is served. Making coffee montage! Jerry’s mug is refilled. Portafilter (naked) is handled, espresso is pouring. Jerry takes a sip (of percolator coffee, not espresso. Why then show us a shot of espresso? Question remains unanswered). Back to Sarah.

Observation: neither Jerry or Sarah are drinking espresso based coffee, and the wide angle shots reveal no espresso machine. Where is the espresso coming from? Where is it going?

Jerry told Sarah she has a face like a sock puppet. Sarah is flattered.

Cut to a shot of what may be a milky tea, followed by a shot of purging the steam wand in slow motion. Back to Jerry. Why did they need to purge the wand after making tea? Where does the tea go? It is never seen again.

Sarah makes a valid point about Real Housewives of New York and UFC.

A close up of a coffee with some solid early 2000’s drawn latte art, then milk is poured right in the middle. It is painful to watch. However this could be a narrative device, highlighting Sarah’s story about the tragedy that is people pouring all of their fiscal and mental resources into fighting the war on aging, thereby discouraging the next generation to dream and be hopeful about the future – by juxtaposing it with a hopeless shot of latte art that has refused to progress with the times. Very clever.

Sarah tells Jerry she loves his idea for a new show. 

Show ends.

As does this review!


^How good would it be if we had barista wigs?!

*However I’m actually doing much better than when I try to work while watching Farmer Wants A Wife. Shivers, when Paige sent both of her farmers home for the second time? When Will kissed Madi but you knew he was really in love with Jess? When Benjamin kissed everyone and anyone who came within cooee of his beard because, gee whiz, all the ladies are just so groovy. Drama. But to be fair, the farmer’s made everyone coffee every morning so it’s educational